I've hit the ground running. A backlog of patients in the clinic, cases in OR, and an overflowing mailbox greets me. There is no time to process and to respond to the experiences. Only mustering enough energy to survive this week.
Still there is this all-consuming fear: Will I lose the passion and purpose I felt in Pakistan? Will my heart grow cold? Will I slip back into a self-serving, indifferent life?
This I do. I pray. I pray for a sense of mission and purpose in every day of my work. In every patient I see. That I go with a full sense of His Presence.
And the most amazing thing happened today - I received a research grant from MAKNA for 30K. Not exactly the multi-million dollar priority grants, but enough for me to do my next cancer project. Talk about an immediate answer to my question, 'What next, God?'
14 December 2005
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