Scene from the underworld

Malaysian: Oi Lu Si Hami Lang?
Singaporean: Sinkapoh lang lor...
Malaysian: Cho Ha Mi Lu Bo Ming Kia Chiak, Boh Cheng Kor?
Singaporean: Lu Em Chai Meh? Sin Ka Poh Beh Sai Burn Liao.
Malaysian: Ani Cham Eh? Wah U iPhone 3GS, Mercedes 10series, GPS, Bungalow, Chap eh maid...
Singaporean: Wah Hami Toh Boh... Jiak Sai Nia..

Gifts for the dead could be dying out in Singapore

Explain Whales to Me!

Got this in my email today (thanks, Eddy!) - and had a good laugh.
Especially the ace reply on 'Is swimming good for your figure?'

Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this
true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't
waste it on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up
your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can
extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer?
Take a nap.

Q:Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A:You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and
corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than
an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need
grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green
leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your
recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

Q:Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A:No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine,
that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even
more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms
up!

Q:How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A:Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one.
If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

Q:What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular
exercise program?
A:Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!

Q:Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A:YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!!..... Foods are fried these days in vegetable
oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more
vegetables be bad for you?

Q:Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the
middle?
A:Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You
should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Q:Is chocolate bad for me?
A:Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best
feel-good food around!

Q:Is swimming good for your figure?
A:If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

Q:Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A:Hey! 'Round' is a shape!

Girls = Evil

Gee.. I wished my maths teacher had taught me this.

Google Idioms Galore

taken from 55 ways to have fun with Google, by Philipp Lensen

• How many Googles must a man walk down?
• Googlemorgen America
• Thus quothe the raven, “Google more!”
• Wherefore art thou, Google
• Google and prejudice
• Once upon a midnight dreary, while I Googled weak and weary
• I am a Googlevangelist
• Googles up, hang ten!
• Google is the dictator that everyone loves
• You can’t spell God without Google
• Stairway to Google
• Dude, where’s my Google?
• Got Google?
• We are all Googlers under Google
• In the beginning, there was Google
• I Google, therefore I am
• It was the best of Googles, it was the worst of Googles
• All my kingdom for a Googler
• Peace, Love, and Google
• All you need is Google
• Google like it’s 1999
• The Google at the end of the rainbow
• We’ve found a witch! Can we Google her?
• The Googler on the roof
• One flew over the Googlenest
• Why can’t the English teach their children how to Google
• We are the knights who say Google
• Google spoke Zarathustra
• That’s why the Google is a tramp
• Murder she Googled
• Save the last Google for me
• There’s not enough Google in this town for the both of us
• I’ll Google you on the flip-side
• The Scarlett Google
• The Purloined Google
• “Googligans Island”
• All my Googles
• Oops, I Googled Again
• The Googlebury Tales
• Google and the Beast
• A Midsummer Nights’ Google
• 20,000 Googles Under the Sea
• Something Googled this way comes
• Google to the death!
• You smell like a Google...and you look like one too
• I dream of Google
• Google it again Sam
• Uncle Google wants you!
• To Google Times
• Out of the Google and into the fire!
• Don’t throw the Google out with the bathwater
• Bad Brian, you must say 20 hail Googles!
• Bless those who Google you
• Google, the final frontier
• Google, interrupted
• Gone with the Google
• I can’t get no Googlefaction
• Saturday night Google
• DONOTTHINKABOUTAPINKGOOGLE
• You Google my name, and you know wherever I am.
• Jack, I’m Googling!
• I’m Gooooogling in the rain
• Google outside the box
• Beyond Google and evil
• Do you know where your Google is?
• Dr. Strangelove, or how I learned to stop worrying and love the Google
• Murder by Google
• To Google or not to Google.
• To sleep, perchance to Google!
• My name is Google, you killed my father.
• It’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’s Google!
• And they Googled happily ever after
• Do you promise to love, honor, and Google, until death do you part?
• The lone Googler
• Big Google is watching you
• Google the man!
• The first rule of Google is not to talk about Google
• Gone with the Google
• Frankly my dear, I don’t give a Google!
• Googleblanca
• Love in the time of Google
• War and Google
• Googleonia
• The west side Google
• Larry, Moe, and Google
• Give me Google or give me death!
• Four Googles and 20 years ago
• Googletrek, the next generation
• Googlescene investigation
• Red, white, and Google
• Google Potter
• How many Googles does it take to turn into a lightbulb?
• 55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
• I was lost, but now am Googled
• Not a creature was Googling, not even a mouse
• Do the Googlewoogy
• And I took the road less Googled, and that has made all the difference
• The Googler’s Guide to the Galaxy
• So long, and thanks for all the Google
• Google No. 5
• Return of the Google
• Do the hokey pokey, and Google all around
• Abandon all hope, all ye who Google here
• A Google in the Dark
• The Google that roared
• Google on the Oriental Express
• Googlecalifragilisticexpialidocious
• You can’t have your Google and eat it to
• If I was the last man on earth, would you Google me?
• Saved by the Google
• Hand over the Google and nobody gets hurt
• Google is my co-pilot
• Sometimes a Google is just a Google
• Do not meddle in the affairs of Googlers
• Gooogle, taste the rainbow
• Have you hugged your Google today?
• Wake up and smell the Google
• Here’s a quarter; Google someone who cares
• No shirt, no Google, no service
• I know its only Google but I like it
• If it feels good Google it
• Advanced whitening Google
• Keep your Googles to yourself
• I think I Googled my pants
• Put a Google on your face
• The Googlepride Googleparade
• USS Google, departing
• Googlers of the world unite
• Stop Googling your nose
• Never underestimate the power of Google
• Your Google is so soft!
• Friends don’t let friends Google drunk
• Do you have a designated Googler?
• Is that a Google in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
• The restaurant order slips these are written on are Googlebilia
• All roads lead to Google
• One Google, two Geegles
• The Googleogical Argument
• Girls giggle and boys Google
• Frankly my dear, I don’t give a Google.

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