The Great Little Adventure

For those of you who think that this event was an accident, let me say we didn't strive to prevent it! You can't say we've been trying very hard but neither did we 'obstruct' its occurence in any way. (In fact our attempts have been so infrequent this could qualify as miraculous conception!) A friend pointed out doctors have a high rate of 'accidental' pregnancies - evidence either of our daftness at handling rubber or the unstoppability of the Genesis mandate embedded in man's tiniest of cells.


According to JUSTTHEFACTS, this is what baby should look like right now. This morning's ultrasound shows baby to be a whopping 1 inch tall.

We've always prayed that the good Lord's timing be at work in this. At least that's what I would say to my parents when they start asking things like when, and shouldn't you be seeing a fertility expert? 'God will give when the time is right,' is my standard interrogation-stopper.

Since the euphoria of that last post, which lasted a good 48 hrs, we sank into sullen denial punctuated with "Oh no... what have we got ourselves into?" and "This can't be undone, CAN it? There is no turning back IS there?" Suddenly our child-free happy holidays vanished as quickly as those double-bands appeared. That lasted about almost a week, until we learnt to take it one day at a time. We can't handle the overwhelming prospect of the BIG PICTURE of raising a kid. Being doctors, we are also constantly reminded of the innumerable risks pre- and peri- and post-natally. This is certainly ONE BIG ADVENTURE that requires every bit of courage and faith we can find.

The turning point from shell-shock to quiet and joyful acceptance was watching the baby's heart beat on the ultrasound screen. Baby was barely 6 weeks old then but seeing the heart flutter sent waves of emotion I cannot describe. A mixture of blessedness, gravity, vulnerability, awe, and helplesness. But waves of thrill isn't all the baby is sending. Waves of NAUSEA and FOOD-AVERSIONS are also flooding mother, and sometimes pours over to father!

This kid is one health freak - Joan can't touch anything with animal fat in it. Nothing fried. And nothing after 8pm. Guess who does the eating every time she discovers a new food taboo? I'm expecting to gain more weight than the gravid mother. Some experts theorise that morning sickness is Mother Nature's protective mechanism to keep the mother from ingesting foods with highest toxic potentials. I suspect as much too.

Nature has inbuilt mechanisms to protect the baby,show the mother who is boss and kill off the father early so he gets to enjoy his inheritance in college. Fine by me! As long as I don't have to be around to bail him out when he squanders it all!

The Double Band

'Oh no..' came the groan from the bahtroom.

'What is it, are you positive?' I asked.

The door opened and she showed me the double-bands.


'Is this positive? Where's the box? Is 2 bands positive, or should there be a third band??'

She was shocked. I was stunned.

We held each other and contemplated the wonder - a new life within. But we are also reeling and numbed - by the implications this brings. Our life changes forever. We will go from honeymooners to haggard parents. There are numerous challenges ahead, every step one of courage and faith. Just the thought of the things that can go wrong from beginning to end - humbles us utterly. This is a journey of faith, no doubt.


According to JUST THE FACTS this is what baby should look like right now.

We celebrated at our usual Pizza Uno - myself with Bolognese, she the Tomato Soup and Caesar Salad with bacon bits. When the dishes arrived, she couldn't even take one bite of the bacon. Animal fat repulses her now - and the whole pile landed on my plate.

The bacon test was far more convincing than any urine test! God.. I am afraid, I don't know if I can do this, be a father. I'm afraid of all the things that can go wrong. This challenges my essential worldview - am I one cursed or am I one blessed?