02 August 2005

Stop whining

I had lunch with a good friend today. She met me in one of the wards at the hospital and we walked out to a nearby Nasi Kandar shop. We talked about our lives and our jobs. But soon she got on the topic of my research and somehow, I just slipped into this mode of negativity. I talked endlessly about the politics and the deeply entrenched strangleholds in the system that work against researchers. I knew I was going down the slippery road of whining but I just couldn't stop myself.

I wouldn't blame her if she left our lunch meeting demoralised and disillusioned. I felt lousy. Both for ruining our lunch meeting, and for reopening my old wounds.

So, it was a blast of fresh air when I read (and sang aloud) Psalm 17 in the evening.

Pushed to the wall by injustices and surrounding corruption, David's voice is one that rises above the hegemony. Singing a new melody, a pure note against a world deafened by groans of despair. For him there is a God who is just and who will do justice - always. He prays:'May my vindication come from You; may your eyes see what is right.' God is the final court of appeal, the defender of the right and vindicator of all.

David's prayer moulds for me a worldview that is far beyond this world when he utters: 'save me... from men of this world whose reward is in this life.' For our ultimate reward cannot be found here in a fallen and degraded world. We await a new heaven and earth. And even so our vindication. Justice may not be done this side of heaven, but it will be done, for 'when I awake, I will be satisfied with seeing your likeness.'

God sees and God acts. It is the most powerful hope there is. I need to stop whining, and get busy living.

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