I'm a sucker for torture. This year was supposed to be the 'honeymoon' year of my 4-year Masters' program. But I couldn't handle the honeymooning. I was growing sedentary, a little retarded mentally and knew I had to do something before I grew pressure sores. So I enrolled for external exams.
'Are you nuts?' Most people would ask. 'You are really bizarre. People study for exams, you take exams to study!''
I am insane aren't I?
So here I am, a month exactly from doomsday, wondering if my head's screwed on right. I count the reality - one hundred topics and 29 days to go. The files and books are stacked ever higher, dwarfing my shrinking confidence. Laugh. I AM mad. But hey, what's life without a little dare and madness?
The correct term for this, I am told, is brinkmanship. I have cultivated (according to Merriam-Webster's dictionary) 'the practice of pushing a dangerous situation to the limit of safety to force a desired outcome.'
And what is my desired outcome? Passing the darned exams, certainly. But I hope this race does more for me than push through a self-imposed finish line. Sharper eyes, better hands, quicker thinking, and overall a better understanding of learning.
And a little excitement on the side.
Wish me luck, guys. And don't try this at home without clearance from your personal physician.
23 March 2002
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